TEA TIME CHATTER // As Molly Weasley would say, where have you been?

Hello. Hi. How are ya? 

As I sat down to write this blog post I was first filled with complete trepidation. I haven't posted here for about a year and a half and it's a frightening thing to come back and start talking about all that's happened to you over that period of time, so honestly I won't go into too much detail. Life has been the busiest it's ever been and I think we can all relate to that through this crazy season of lockdowns and isolations. It's been brutal for everyone and I think more than ever we are all suffering with our mental health in one way or another. For me, it came in the form of a loss of passion for the things I really adored most. Up until January of this year, I couldn't think about putting pen to paper to write any form of prose or poetry, couldn't bring myself to pick up a book and read the first opening lines or even listen to music I have now come to cherish. Being caught up in the return to work, socialising once again and isolations lifting so we could embrace family again meant the blog kind of took a back seat as I chose to just live in the moment. 

January saw the change point I guess, when I started to read again. Picking up a book for the first time was quite daunting, especially since I had been in a reading slump since I left university many years ago. Still, reading has brought such a profound joy back to my existence and led to being able to put pen to paper once more and write a few short pieces of poetry, which felt like such a success. 

It was then, I thought about this little blog on the internet. The little nook of creativity that has just been left to gather dust and wilt. Then today, when I finally decided to purchase a new laptop did I think, I am going to write a blog post for the first time in what feels like centuries. So hi, I'm Kate. 

I hope you are doing well and what little reader base I had has decided to stick around and be a part of this little cosy community. It's so good to be back and have a real desire to write and communicate with everyone again. I think the blog will need some upgrading - it looks a little weathered! 

The biggest change has been my occupation. I was made redundant in December 2021 from a job that was bringing me very little joy. To lose your form of income just before the Christmas break was actually a blessing in disguise. I spent most of the festive period relaxing with my family and enjoying that time together without worries and focused on what mattered most. In February, I was very pleased and so honoured to begin working for the National Health Service in an admin role. Being apart of an institution that is so valuable to our society brings me a real sense of pride and like I am actually making a difference to someone. I have wonderful work colleagues and it's a real joy to go to work every day and offer support to people who need it most. 

Lewis, my husband and I are still in our little two bed house with our little cat Cloughie. We have really been working to make it our own and to transform it into a sanctuary of sorts. As always Cloughie keeps us busy by running around the house at 3am and screaming his head off when we ignore him for even a second; he's high maintenance. Things at home are good and happy. It's been a tough time for us, with me being made redundant and Lewis being furloughed for such a long time, but it has all worked out well in the end which is the most important thing. 

I have made the most incredible friendships over the past year and half, with people coming into my life who have brought such love and encouragement and true kindness. I'd go as far to say they are soulmates and that friendship like this has been something I have never experienced. It's a sisterhood allowing me to have a place where I can share the things I love and also have a shoulder to lean on when things get rough. It's been a support mechanism that I have needed so strongly but also a mutual relationship that's really blossomed into true friendship. I feel incredibly lucky. It has also been a season of learning what relationships are healthiest for me personally. I think I have learnt that sometimes some people are not meant to walk the path with you forever and that they need to traverse there own way rather than continue on with me. It's been hard to acknowledge that but it's been a lesson that I've embraced and thought on a lot. It's helped me mature I guess and learn more about myself. 

My passion for books has returned tenfold. I have read seventeen books this year so far, which for someone who was in the biggest slump of their life feels like a real achievement. I have been exploring the fantasy genre, with it's wizards and vampires and it's been such a refreshing change and I have found such a love for the genre itself. It's allowed me to experience and be introduced to new authors, that maybe I would never have heard of before. I have so many more books to read this year and as Autumn falls on us, I am so excited to get cosy, drink tea and read. 

As I said, writing has not come as easily. I have found speaking to friends and reading their incredible work to be such an encouragement for my own work. I have also reconnected with the emotional side of poetry writing, allowing myself to feel the emotions and put them onto paper. I haven't written anything of any substance since university, so to be able to get a few stanzas down has made me incredibly happy. 

I have also found a passion for gaming, something I never thought i'd say. I have always dabbled with video games but have never really got deeply involved with them. Now, I have my own switch for animal crossing and my newest obsession Wytchwood. I have also rebooted my old Wii and have been playing copious amounts of Mario Kart which doesn't seem the most productive thing to do, but I assure you it is! I have just ordered Zelda Twilight Princess for the Wii so I am so excited for that to arrive. 

Lastly, mental health. I can honestly say the last year and a half has been the biggest up and down experience. I think I have learnt a lot about my own mental state, what triggers it to become so profoundly dark and what works to bring back a hint of brightness. I have done so much learning and reading around my own mental health and really researched ways to help control and settle times when panic attacks get too much or I have thoughts that bring about darkness. It's been a real journey, with doctors advice and support of family and friends but I really do think I have a process in place that really works for me and that I can rely on when things do get too much. It's also been good to be open with those closest to me about how I am feeling and I no longer feel the need to lie when I am having an off day. This freedom to be open and honest has really supported me and made such a difference. 

It's 11pm now. I guess I have rambled for a good five or ten minutes but it was only meant to be a brief catch up (sorry!) I have more blog posts planned over the coming weeks and I promise not to abandon the blog as I have done recently. 

Kate